Now or Never
by 1alucard1
Summary: Chloe has regrets about keeping Lucifer at arm's length after the events of the finale.


Lucifer didn't hesitate. There was little conscious thought involved. The shot rang out, and he was moving before he even realized what he was doing.

They landed on the floor with a thud. There was a sudden searing pain in his side. He couldn't breathe properly anymore. He managed to roll himself to the side, allowing the detective to get up enough to take aim and fire at the shooter.

Several more shots rang out, but Lucifer only heard them at the edge of his consciousness. He lifted his hand, staring at it. It was covered in blood. He was starkly reminded of the day when he lay on the floor of that hangar, bargaining with his father.

 _Please protect her_ , he found himself begging again. _Please_.

He couldn't have said how much time passed, but suddenly the detective was by his side again. She seemed to be unharmed. Good. She was talking to him, quite frantically, but everything was getting fuzzy at the edges, and her image was slipping away from him. He wondered why she was so upset. She was unharmed. Everything was fine.

"No. No, no, no, no, no. Stay with me. Please. _Lucifer_."

He flinched a little when she put pressure on the wound. "'s fine", he mumbled, barely audible. "'ve wings-" _I have my wings. I can come back_ , he wanted to tell her, but there was blood in his mouth, and he had to cough, and couldn't get the words out.

* * *

Chloe sat in the waiting room of the hospital, staring numbly at the wall in front of her. There was no point in her still being there. There was nothing to wait for. The doctor, who had given her the news, had left several minutes ago, but she just sat there, unmoving, staring straight ahead, thoughts tumbling.

Lucifer was gone. Back in _hell_ , probably. And she'd never told him the truth.

She'd told him many times that it didn't matter to her who he was, that his actions were what counted, that he wasn't the devil _to her_. But when it really mattered, when she'd been shown the whole truth, she'd gotten scared.

Not of him, never of him, but of all the implications that came with it. Heaven. Hell. The fact that she was attracted to the literal devil.

She'd told him she needed time to process, and that much had been true. But then she'd proceeded to push him away, a little further every day. And she'd watched the hurt and the heartbreak in his eyes, telling herself that they just needed some distance.

And then she'd never managed to work up the courage to tell him why. He had probably died thinking she hated him. When the actual reason she'd distanced herself had been quite the opposite. She was in love with the devil. It was such a monumental statement that she'd simply needed time to get over it.

Time she thought she had. And now he was gone, back to watching over hell, forever, alone, thinking she hated him.

She swallowed, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall.

If only she'd been a little braver. If only she'd had time enough to work up the courage to tell him how she really felt.

"Hey."

Her head whipped around so fast that there was an audible crack. She stared at Lucifer, wondering if this was some sort of grief-induced hallucination, if her mind, unable to deal with her regret over how she'd treated him, had conjured up some vision of him.

"Hey", he said again, giving her a small, unsure smile. She just stared at him. He was still wearing the same suit, the entire left side of his dress shirt, as well as the suit jacket, soaked in blood.

She wanted to stand up and reach out to him, but was too scared that he would turn out to be nothing more than a hallucination after all.

She looked at him, unable to say anything, unable to move.

Lucifer looked down at himself, a look of regret on his face. He sighed. "Another one bites the dust. And it was one of my favourites, too."

Chloe made a noise that sounded strange to her own ears, half sob, half laugh. Lucifer looked up again, regarding her with worry.

"You- you- you're-" She stopped, realizing she had no idea what she actually wanted to say.

"You didn't think a simple bullet could keep me down for long, did you?", he said, cocking his head to the side, smile growing.

Chloe jumped up suddenly, closing the small distance between them, all but crashing into him. She put her hands on his arms, his chest, his face, in quick succession, needing to reassure herself that he was really there.

She left her hand on his face, kissing him, a couple of quick pecks to his lips, then she buried her head in his chest, drawing her arms around him, holding him as close as humanly possible.

"Hey", he said again, much softer, sounding surprised, drawing his arms around her in turn.

Chloe drew in a shaky breath, holding on to him tightly, her hands fisting in the fabric of his dress shirt.

They remained like this for some time, then Lucifer started slowly, tentatively stroking his hand over her hair.

Chloe soaked him in, delighting in the fact that he was there, that he was _alive_. After a moment, she pulled back, sniffling, wiping the tears from her eyes.

She locked eyes with Lucifer, finding him looking at her in wonder, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

"I'm sorry", she said, watching the look of confusion on his face intensify. He opened his mouth to reply, but she lifted her hand, indicating that she wanted to say more.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you. I told you time and again that it didn't make a difference who you really were, that it didn't matter to _me_ , and when it was time to prove it, I let you down."

He looked like he wanted to protest, but she lifted her hand again. "Please, let me finish. I kept you at arm's length, and I should have talked to you about all of this a long time ago. I was shocked, and scared-" She didn't miss how he flinched slightly at her wording, and quickly went on to reassure him. "-not of you, of- everything else. All the implications. What it meant for me, for my life, that there really is a God, and heaven, and hell, and angels, and demons-" She stopped, feeling that she was starting to ramble. She took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts.

 _Now or never_ , she thought, the moment he had been lying on the floor, bleeding out under her hands, still fresh in her memory.

"How I feel about you hasn't changed", she stated confidently, trying to gauge his reaction. He stared at her with a strange expression. Confusion, disbelief, maybe a shred of hope, if she squinted her eyes.

"I love you", she added, going for full disclosure, putting herself out there. He didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to talking about his feelings. She was quite certain he'd leave her hanging. It didn't matter. She hadn't said it to get a response from him. She'd said it because he deserved to know the truth after all this time she'd spend pushing him away.

Lucifer just stared at her, mouth slightly agape. He blinked.

"You do?", he asked stupidly, an adorable look of confusion on his face.

Chloe smiled, putting her hands on his face again. She leaned up on tiptoes, and kissed him, longer and deeper this time, telling him again what she'd told him in words already.


End file.
